TERRIBLE TWOS

Pardon the profanity.  It is just necessary for this post.

from www.messagewithabottle.tumblr.com

Terrible twos, why yes they are.  Thank you for asking. 

Being a parent of four different two-year old children, I have learned a few things.  I am happy to share my knowledge and advice with you.

1.  Two-year olds have a voice modulation problem.  They speak in screams.  Get some earplugs

2. Two-year olds have a hard time keeping up with the latest fashion trends. Don't take them in public.

3. Two-year olds cannot tell the difference between a dog and a patio.  Do not let the dog and the kid outside at the same time.

4. Slimy two-year olds are hard to hold on to.  Do not keep Vaseline in your home.

 5.  Two-year olds store sand in their sinus cavities.  Always carry tissues.

6. Two-year olds are naturalists.  They have no problem using the bathroom in the outdoors.  Watch where you step.

7.  Two-year olds like the smell of weird things.  Develop a gag reflex.

 

8.  Two-year olds are not picky about which orifice they insert things into.  Carry tweezers.

 

 9. Two-year olds are born with black belts in Karate.  Wear padding.

10.  Two-year olds are curious about body parts.  Ladies clothing stores should be off limits.

 

11. Two-year olds can scale any obstacle to get a tasty treat.  Hide your snack food.

12.  Two-year olds are animals.  Confinement is the best option.

13.  Two-year olds do not like water in their eyes.  Invest in goggles.

Even though two-year olds are a large portion of the time spawns of the devil, the other times they are the cutest, funniest, happiest, silliest people in the world!  I wouldn't trade mine for anything...that is unless you have something really good!!  Oh come on people, I am kidding!!

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi