What's Wrong With Paper????

As I was organizing the digital pictures on my computer I found a very distinct theme.  That theme being that my children's artistic canvas seems to be everything in the world but paper. Can someone please tell me what is so wrong with paper?  And here I was wondering why the boys need at least 2 showers a day and why my house looks like an F5 tornado hit it at any given moment.

I wonder no longer.  Anyone need a mural done?  I contract this talent out. 

Flirting with Disaster,
Cyndi

It Ain't The Years Honey, It's The Mileage.

My boys' favorite movies are the Indiana Jones movies.  They love them.  They can watch them 10 times in a row.  In fact my six year old son believes he is named after Harrison Ford, as he is Harrison too.  Who am I to tell him otherwise :) 

property of paramount pictures

Regardless, the culture of that movie has seeped into every aspect of our lives.  I have seen each one so many times that I could probably recite each one by heart.  When I got the invitation to my 20th high school reunion one line that Indiana says in Raiders of the Lost Ark came to my mind. "It's not the years honey, it's the mileage."  Ain't that the truth?  The mileage on this old girl got me to thinking about what I thought was important in high school.  It is almost laughable and certainly embarrassing now. 

Here are the ten things I wish I could tell my high school self:

1.Having cool clothes is a joke.  Yoga pants and running shoes are ACTUALLY comfortable.

2. Having a cool car is totally impractical.  They do not get good gas mileage and it is hard to clean up crushed cheerios and goldfish from the nooks and crannies because you cannot climb in the car with a full size vacuum cleaner.

3. Having big hair no longer dictates how popular you are.  If you have big hair now it only means that you did not have enough time to comb out your morning bed head before shit hit the fan and you day had to begin.

4. Having a bag of cafeteria Cheetos isn't considered a quick lunch anymore.  It means that you are in the ER with you kid and have to scrounge up dinner from the hospital cafeteria with the loose change you collect from the floor of your "not so cool" car. 

5. Getting a high school parking pass no longer is a perk of being involved in cheerleading.  The only perk now is the bad back, tennis elbow, and shotty knees you got from throwing people into the air when you were 17.

6. The leadership experience that Student Council provided unfortunately does not come in handy when you are the only adult in a room full of people who are three feet tall.  Maybe The United States Army's Basic Training would have been a better option.

7. Getting alcohol on the weekends no longer means going to a keg party way out in the boonies so the cops don't find you.  It means buying a case of cheap wine and cracking one open at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday and sitting in the driveway watching your kids beat the snot out of one another in the front lawn while a cop drives by on their patrol and you wave.

8. Sleeping in no longer means getting up at 11:00am on a Saturday.  It means getting to sleep until 6:45am on a Saturday. 

9.   Babysitting for money is underrated. You will never make as much money at your job at Subway as you do getting to play with kids for a couple hours then getting watch TV after they go do bed.  I only realize this now when I have to pay a sitter $12 and hour to hang out with my children. 

10.  Not having to pay for anything (like your car, your phone, your Target Card bill) means that your life is E-A-S-Y!   Shut up and stop complaining. 

Doggie Glamour

Want your dogs to eat in style?  Check this out...

 

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

From this Side of Design,

Rhonda

Easy, Elegant Wine Platter

Check out this simple way to add lots of pizzazz to a wine and cheese platter from Rhonda!

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

3,462 Miles...and Counting

D-FART III  (3rd annual Davis Family Road Trip)

For Spring Break this year we decided to continue the D-FART family tradition of driving to an exotic location.  Scottsdale, Arizona (home to Grandma Barb & Grandpa Les) was the winner.  Not only did we decide to drive halfway across the country with 4 kids, but we also decided to bring our dogs as well.  Seriously, what were we thinking?  The correct answer is we weren't.

We began our drive knowing we had a hotel reservation in Amarillo, TX which is about 12 hours from St. Louis.  We decided to skip the hotel and drive straight through to Arizona for some crazy reason.  The total driving time was 23 hours and 15 minutes.  Have you ever spent 23 hours and 15 minutes in a car?  Again, I ask, "What were we thinking?"  Again, I answer, "We weren't."  

I learned a few things driving across the country.  First of all it is imperative that you take your dogs to the groomer prior to having them accompany you on a trip.  Any of you who have big dogs know that they do the carpet scoot sometimes, right?  Well that is to express their anal glands.  If they get groomed, the groomer will take care of that.  When their anal glands are not expressed they become impacted and they really stink in a major way.

I did not realize that our puppy's anal glands were impacted and OMG did she smell!  It was seriously rotten.  Seeing as though she spent most of the 23 hours on my lap due to the lack of floor space I absorbed the smell. Smelling like dogs impacted anal glands is super swell. 

I also learned that a 3 year old can ask 1,000 consecutive questions without taking a breath.  Where is God?  Does he live in my mouth? What's his first name? What's his last name? Why? Why are there sharks in the sea? What is their first names? What is their last name? Can penguins fly? Why not? Daddy, what is your first name? What is your last name? What is my name? Why? Can I have candy? Why not? Can I live at grandma's house? Where is your parachute? Is it broken? Why is Mommy driving? Where we going? Why? Can i play your iPad? Can I have a drink? How about a soda? What is that smell? Is that a rocket?  He asked so many questions that even the dog started to answer them just to get him to shut up.

Another interesting fact: As much as dogs believe they are co-pilots, they are not good at reading maps.

I also learned that you begin to hallucinate after sitting in a vehicle for 23 hours.  Upon arrival to Arizona in the wee hours of the morning, I thought I was seeing the alphabet appearing in the desert. 

 
After a good long rest we enjoyed a fabulous visit with the grandparents.  They had a myriad of activities planned that kept everyone entertained including:

Hiking

Swimming

Bull Riding

Marshmallow roasting

Fire Fighting

Train Riding

Easter Egg Dying

Horseback Riding

Kite Flying

And so much more!

After a week of fun in the sun we packed up the mini van and prepared for our trip back to St. Louis.  Rather than heading due East back to the Lou, we took a little 4 hour detour north through Flagstaff to the Grand Canyon. 

 Ever seen the movie 'Vacation'?  As we were nearing the Grand Canyon, my brother sent us this message of what he envisioned was going on in our car...

"Cyndi: Honestly, Drew, I don't think we're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.

Drew: Jesus, it's only the biggest god damn hole in the world.

Aunt Edna: Drew, watch your language!

Drew: Make that the second biggest."

Spot on, friends, spot on.  

We lugged everyone (including our 4 legged passengers) all the way out the the canyon rim to what can honestly be called one of the most breath taking sights I have ever seen.  5 minutes after our arrival to the rim, our 3 year old announced that he had to poop.  That was the end of our canyon viewing.  So much for the 4 hour drive.  At least I have the picture to prove that we made it there!

From the Grand Canyon we drove to another national park where there is a petrified forest.  Yes, trees that are now rocks.  The kids were thrilled to see another tourist attraction (read that as sarcastic). 

  

And of course they followed all the rules.

It really was a fascinating place.  Kinda looked like another planet. I, for one, am glad we stopped.

From here we headed to Albq, NM for the night and on to St. Louis the next day.  Total car time for the ride home was 34 hours.  You could say we were pretty cooked by the end, but it was worth it.  We made memories that will last a lifetime, and that's what our D-FART is all about, right?  For 3,462 miles it better be!

From This Side of Disaster,

Cyndi

SCREENED-IN PORCH TRANSFORMATION

Check out this easy way to transform your screened-in porch!

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

From This Side of Disaster,
Rhonda

FOR MY FELLOW NON-SCRAPBOOKERS

This is probably one of the only posts you will see from me on creative ideas.  I am sure you are all thankful for that!  I do not scrapbook.  I wouldn't even know where to begin.  I am also not very creative when it comes to organizing my pictures.  My kids will probably be disappointed that they don't have picture documentation of their lives all wrapped up in beautiful handmade scrapbooks.   Oh well.  I guess they will just have to deal with that. 

Along with pictures comes artwork & school work.  When my kids started school the collection of every single picture they ever drew and every school worksheet they ever completed started to pile up.  I couldn't bear to throw any of their work away nor did I know how to organize it.  Then an idea came to me - pseudo scrapbook!  Not cute and homemade, but functional enough.  It has helped me weed through all their papers to find the ones that were special and also document activities we do as a family.  They each get one pseudo scrapbook a year (since they started school) and once the year is completed and the binders are finished they keep them in their closets.  I often find them sitting in their rooms looking back at their old stuff in those books.  They love it!  They don't care that the pseudo scrapbooks are not cutesy.

I bought four plastic drawers that I keep on a shelf in my pantry.  Everyday when the kids get home from school and we go through their folders I pull out all of their worksheets and artwork.  I tuck it into their assigned drawer in the pantry.  My intention is to go through it every couple of weeks and choose only the best stuff for the binder, but that doesn't always happen.  Sometimes it is only two or three times a year that I get to it.  The best thing about it is that all the paperwork is basically in date order so it is easy to organize.

Above the drawers I keep a 3 inch binder for each child with the appropriate school year listed on the spine of the binder.  Inside the binder I have empty sheet protectors.

I put their school picture in the front cover of the binder.

Inside the binder I usually make some sort of sign with their current grade.  Then I begin inserting their artwork and school papers in some semblance of date order in the clear plastic sheet protectors that are in the binder. 

If they played a sport that year, I will usually put the team photo in as well.  If we did an activity as a family (like the Cards game in the below example) I will put a the ticket stub or a picture of the activity.

I put their best school work and art pictures in too.

If there is a big event or news story that happened, like when the Cards won the World Series, I will put a newspaper clipping in the binder.

My kids all love to draw so some of my most favorite inserts are pictures they drew about things they are interested in.  My son is fascinated with the Titanic, and he loves to draw pictures of it.  I love, love, love this picture!

There you have it - simple and functional.  I am sure you could make yours much more visually appealing on the outside than mine.  The point is that the important stuff is saved on the inside and the kids love them.  The best part is that all their school papers are not sitting in piles all around my house!  Of course my OCD likes that!

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi

BEST GIFT EVER

I am pretty freaking brilliant sometimes.  Seriously.  As a present for my daughter I went to the dollar store and bought a container and all kinds of "spa stuff" to put inside.  There is pedicure stuff, manicure stuff, cleansers, lotions, and potions of all kinds.  I spent less than $20.  She was so excited!  The best part about it is that I get to be her guinea pig and I don't have to pay a red cent!  See, my friends, I do not always lead a life full of disaster.  I actually do have a few moments of sheer brilliance where things do work out to my advantage!  I will take those moments whenever I can get them!!  #bestgiftever

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi

TREASURE OUT OF TRASH

Ever wonder what to do with the collection of trash that your kids collect?  I have a great idea...turn that trash into a masterpiece!  Here is my creation, candy wrapper art!

Check out our Design Projects tab to see how it is done.

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

From This Side of Design,
Rhonda

SPORTSMANSHIP

http://www.encouragement-quotes.com/inspirational-sports-quotes.html

I have just witnessed the WORST sportsmanship that I have ever seen in all my 38 years!  I am literally sick to my stomach.  My eleven year old daughter plays on a winter volleyball league.  They are on it to have fun and learn how to play the sport.  Their team had a game tonight against a team that was clearly select.   Let me make it clear that I have no problem with kids on select sports teams.  I know parents and kids invest a whole lot of time and money in order to have their child play a sport they enjoy.  It's wonderful if that is what works for them.  My kid just wants to learn how to play volleyball in a recreational and fun setting, not compete against a team that is out for blood.

This team kicked my daughter's team's ass every which way til Sunday in all three of the games they played tonight.  They were a foot taller and honest to goodness looked like they were 15.  My daughter's team are girls that are 10 and 11.  The thing about it was that not only did this team win, but they made fun of and mocked my daughter's team all they way through the game.  They bounced the ball off their heads and chests over the net and laughed at our girls.  When they served the ball they did not face forward, they faced backwards and served the ball backwards over their heads.  Apparently these are not illegal moves, but they are 100% disrespectful and unsportsman like.  Come on!  Our girls are still learning to serve and still don't always make it over the net when they face forward.

The other team laughed and high-fived all through the game especially when our girls hit the ball out of bounds or made a bad serve.  It was appalling.  I have played and seen lots of sports being played during my life but nothing like this...ever!  The very worst part about it was that their coach, an adult woman, just sat there with a smug grin on her face the whole time.  Not once did she ever tell her girls to stop their behavior, in fact she encouraged them to serve facing backwards.  Not only that, but not ONE of the parents from the girls on that team said a thing.  I am telling you that if my child EVER behaved like one of those girls on the field or court at ANY game they were playing I would walk onto the court and personally pull my child off the court by his or her ear!!!!  Un-freaking-believable!!!  Even after the game the ref came over to our girls and apologized for the horrible behavior of the other team and assured us they would not be allowed back next year.  The girls, parents and coach of the other team said nothing.

We try and expose our kids to all kinds of activities when they are young so they can find what they enjoy most.  Kids are getting on select teams at such an early age now a days.  It makes it hard to find a place for my kids to play since they are just beginners, who never will be the athletic scholarship type, and haven't been playing this or that specific sport since they were 2.  It has not been a priority for our family to get involved in sports in that way.  We can't.  We don't have the time, money or capability to get to and from the amount of practices and games it takes to play select.  I truly don't have a problem with families who can do this for their kids.  I could only hope that for the intensity at which these kids practice and play the coaches and parents instill proper sportsmanship behavior in the kids.  For the most part I am sure they do, but the team our girls played tonight made my blood boil.  They were obnoxious, disrespectful, and humiliated our team.  I wish they would have played appropriately, won the games fair and square and shook hands with the girls on our team with some dignity.  Now my kid doesn't want to play next week because these girls were so awful to her and her team mates.  How bad does that suck?

 I saw this picture of a sign posted on the Hoffman Estates Park District's ice rink the other day, and I loved it.  It does not specifically deal with volleyball players, coaches, or parents, but it should give us all something to think about.

http://www.heparks.org/

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi

HABITS

Ok, so I have a really bad habit.  I cannot seem to keep my car clean.  The inside of my mini van looks like a tornado hit it.  Don't get me wrong, I like to have a clean car.  I try and get to the car washed when I can.  It just does not seem to stay clean. 

I pulled out some interesting things from inside my car today:
An electric piano
A beach towel
7 plastic Target bags
A zip lock bag full of angry birds underwear
3 pairs of shoes including a pair of flip flops (why?  there are 6 inches of snow on the ground!)
2 hoodies
A diet Dr. Pepper can with a pop tart wrapper (that would be breakfast)
A Leapster
An iPod
A bag of Cheetos
The list goes on.

a partial view of the inside of my van

I try.  I really do, but I have four kids.  Dirt follows them like Pigpen from Charlie Brown.  Where they go, dirt and mess follow.  I suppose I have become immune to it.  My husband on the other hand cannot stand it.  It is his biggest pet peeve.  He hates to drive/ride in my van.  I get it, but I have trouble changing my mode of operation to meet his vehicle standards.  He keeps his car immaculate.  He washes it, waxes it, conditions the leather interior...you get my drift.  He always tells me that when you take care of your things, they take care of you.  Wise man.  I would be interested to see if his car would still be in perfect condition if he had to drive four kids around for a week.  Hmmmm....

I know I have many other habits that drive my husband crazy such as my inability to clear my computer desktop of all the random files that take up the whole screen, my need to run the washing machine 19 hours a day, that I use his hair brush when I have two of my own sitting on the bathroom counter, yada yada yada.  He is a patient man.   Most of the time he never mentions my habits.  I know he cringes inside, but on the outside he remains calm (and I go on with my crazy ways).

My husband, on the other hand,  has one habit that I just can't wrap my mind around.  He does not put dirty clothes in the hamper.  They go on the floor next to the hamper and on top of the hamper, but just not IN the hamper. 

It's funny how two people can have such different things that they can accept or that sets them off yet still function like a well oiled machine.  One of the biggest life lessons is learned when you share your living space and your life with another person.  That simple lesson is life is full of compromises.  If you cannot compromise you will miss out on so many of the joys life has to offer.  Being close minded and judgmental will only bring you grief.  My husband I don't have a perfect relationship.  We bicker about stupid things, but in the end I know that he is more than just the sum of his habits as am I.  I can walk around the hamper and he can walk around my car and we will be all the better for it.

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi

TERRIBLE TWOS

Pardon the profanity.  It is just necessary for this post.

from www.messagewithabottle.tumblr.com

Terrible twos, why yes they are.  Thank you for asking. 

Being a parent of four different two-year old children, I have learned a few things.  I am happy to share my knowledge and advice with you.

1.  Two-year olds have a voice modulation problem.  They speak in screams.  Get some earplugs

2. Two-year olds have a hard time keeping up with the latest fashion trends. Don't take them in public.

3. Two-year olds cannot tell the difference between a dog and a patio.  Do not let the dog and the kid outside at the same time.

4. Slimy two-year olds are hard to hold on to.  Do not keep Vaseline in your home.

 5.  Two-year olds store sand in their sinus cavities.  Always carry tissues.

6. Two-year olds are naturalists.  They have no problem using the bathroom in the outdoors.  Watch where you step.

7.  Two-year olds like the smell of weird things.  Develop a gag reflex.

 

8.  Two-year olds are not picky about which orifice they insert things into.  Carry tweezers.

 

 9. Two-year olds are born with black belts in Karate.  Wear padding.

10.  Two-year olds are curious about body parts.  Ladies clothing stores should be off limits.

 

11. Two-year olds can scale any obstacle to get a tasty treat.  Hide your snack food.

12.  Two-year olds are animals.  Confinement is the best option.

13.  Two-year olds do not like water in their eyes.  Invest in goggles.

Even though two-year olds are a large portion of the time spawns of the devil, the other times they are the cutest, funniest, happiest, silliest people in the world!  I wouldn't trade mine for anything...that is unless you have something really good!!  Oh come on people, I am kidding!!

From This Side of Disaster,
Cyndi