Things You Will Want To Know About Me If We Are Going To Be BFFs

So I have hit a huge, GIGANTIC, and thoroughly annoying writer's block for the last few months.  Nothing at all seems to come to mind when I think about what I want to post out into the great wide open of cyber space.  It's not that crazy stuff isn't happening around here.  In fact there has been more crazy than ever before, but can't seem to capture it in words funny enough to share.  Blahhhhhhh.

Reading back through some of my favorite bloggers old posts, I came across this one: http://www.littlemissmomma.com/2010/12/things-you-should-know-about-me-if-we.html
So, I am totally stealing her idea.  Call me unoriginal.  I don't care.  If you want to be my BFF, there are a few things you should know first.  This will still give you time to run if you think I am too crazy.  I don't blame you.  I guess it will save both of our times.


I hate broccoli with a passion.

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I love Swedish Fish and would eat an entire bag for a meal if I could.  Oh, that's right, I can because I am a grown up!  Don't think I haven't done it already.

I would probably be an animal hoarder if my husband wasn't allergic to the animals we already have.

My middle name is ADHD (and I do enjoy AC/DC on occasion).

I love wine.  L-O-V-E.

I am an introvert in an extravert's body.  Having to talk to strangers gives me extreme anxiety, but yet I am overly friendly with people.  Bad combination.

property of thedatereport.com

I am extremely self-conscious of my ankles.  I am saving for plastic surgery.  Cankle surgery, if you must know.  And yes, there is such a thing.

Wall Street Journal (circa ?)

I am loyal.

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I heart vacuum lines in my carpet.  They complete me.

property of www.mikebechtle.com

And of course, most importantly, I think my husband and my kids are the funniest people on the planet.  You can't be friends with me unless you agree ;)

  

From This Side of Disaster,

Cyndi

 

What's Wrong With Paper????

As I was organizing the digital pictures on my computer I found a very distinct theme.  That theme being that my children's artistic canvas seems to be everything in the world but paper. Can someone please tell me what is so wrong with paper?  And here I was wondering why the boys need at least 2 showers a day and why my house looks like an F5 tornado hit it at any given moment.

I wonder no longer.  Anyone need a mural done?  I contract this talent out. 

Flirting with Disaster,
Cyndi

It Ain't The Years Honey, It's The Mileage.

My boys' favorite movies are the Indiana Jones movies.  They love them.  They can watch them 10 times in a row.  In fact my six year old son believes he is named after Harrison Ford, as he is Harrison too.  Who am I to tell him otherwise :) 

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Regardless, the culture of that movie has seeped into every aspect of our lives.  I have seen each one so many times that I could probably recite each one by heart.  When I got the invitation to my 20th high school reunion one line that Indiana says in Raiders of the Lost Ark came to my mind. "It's not the years honey, it's the mileage."  Ain't that the truth?  The mileage on this old girl got me to thinking about what I thought was important in high school.  It is almost laughable and certainly embarrassing now. 

Here are the ten things I wish I could tell my high school self:

1.Having cool clothes is a joke.  Yoga pants and running shoes are ACTUALLY comfortable.

2. Having a cool car is totally impractical.  They do not get good gas mileage and it is hard to clean up crushed cheerios and goldfish from the nooks and crannies because you cannot climb in the car with a full size vacuum cleaner.

3. Having big hair no longer dictates how popular you are.  If you have big hair now it only means that you did not have enough time to comb out your morning bed head before shit hit the fan and you day had to begin.

4. Having a bag of cafeteria Cheetos isn't considered a quick lunch anymore.  It means that you are in the ER with you kid and have to scrounge up dinner from the hospital cafeteria with the loose change you collect from the floor of your "not so cool" car. 

5. Getting a high school parking pass no longer is a perk of being involved in cheerleading.  The only perk now is the bad back, tennis elbow, and shotty knees you got from throwing people into the air when you were 17.

6. The leadership experience that Student Council provided unfortunately does not come in handy when you are the only adult in a room full of people who are three feet tall.  Maybe The United States Army's Basic Training would have been a better option.

7. Getting alcohol on the weekends no longer means going to a keg party way out in the boonies so the cops don't find you.  It means buying a case of cheap wine and cracking one open at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday and sitting in the driveway watching your kids beat the snot out of one another in the front lawn while a cop drives by on their patrol and you wave.

8. Sleeping in no longer means getting up at 11:00am on a Saturday.  It means getting to sleep until 6:45am on a Saturday. 

9.   Babysitting for money is underrated. You will never make as much money at your job at Subway as you do getting to play with kids for a couple hours then getting watch TV after they go do bed.  I only realize this now when I have to pay a sitter $12 and hour to hang out with my children. 

10.  Not having to pay for anything (like your car, your phone, your Target Card bill) means that your life is E-A-S-Y!   Shut up and stop complaining. 

Doggie Glamour

Want your dogs to eat in style?  Check this out...

 

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

From this Side of Design,

Rhonda

Easy, Elegant Wine Platter

Check out this simple way to add lots of pizzazz to a wine and cheese platter from Rhonda!

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

3,462 Miles...and Counting

D-FART III  (3rd annual Davis Family Road Trip)

For Spring Break this year we decided to continue the D-FART family tradition of driving to an exotic location.  Scottsdale, Arizona (home to Grandma Barb & Grandpa Les) was the winner.  Not only did we decide to drive halfway across the country with 4 kids, but we also decided to bring our dogs as well.  Seriously, what were we thinking?  The correct answer is we weren't.

We began our drive knowing we had a hotel reservation in Amarillo, TX which is about 12 hours from St. Louis.  We decided to skip the hotel and drive straight through to Arizona for some crazy reason.  The total driving time was 23 hours and 15 minutes.  Have you ever spent 23 hours and 15 minutes in a car?  Again, I ask, "What were we thinking?"  Again, I answer, "We weren't."  

I learned a few things driving across the country.  First of all it is imperative that you take your dogs to the groomer prior to having them accompany you on a trip.  Any of you who have big dogs know that they do the carpet scoot sometimes, right?  Well that is to express their anal glands.  If they get groomed, the groomer will take care of that.  When their anal glands are not expressed they become impacted and they really stink in a major way.

I did not realize that our puppy's anal glands were impacted and OMG did she smell!  It was seriously rotten.  Seeing as though she spent most of the 23 hours on my lap due to the lack of floor space I absorbed the smell. Smelling like dogs impacted anal glands is super swell. 

I also learned that a 3 year old can ask 1,000 consecutive questions without taking a breath.  Where is God?  Does he live in my mouth? What's his first name? What's his last name? Why? Why are there sharks in the sea? What is their first names? What is their last name? Can penguins fly? Why not? Daddy, what is your first name? What is your last name? What is my name? Why? Can I have candy? Why not? Can I live at grandma's house? Where is your parachute? Is it broken? Why is Mommy driving? Where we going? Why? Can i play your iPad? Can I have a drink? How about a soda? What is that smell? Is that a rocket?  He asked so many questions that even the dog started to answer them just to get him to shut up.

Another interesting fact: As much as dogs believe they are co-pilots, they are not good at reading maps.

I also learned that you begin to hallucinate after sitting in a vehicle for 23 hours.  Upon arrival to Arizona in the wee hours of the morning, I thought I was seeing the alphabet appearing in the desert. 

 
After a good long rest we enjoyed a fabulous visit with the grandparents.  They had a myriad of activities planned that kept everyone entertained including:

Hiking

Swimming

Bull Riding

Marshmallow roasting

Fire Fighting

Train Riding

Easter Egg Dying

Horseback Riding

Kite Flying

And so much more!

After a week of fun in the sun we packed up the mini van and prepared for our trip back to St. Louis.  Rather than heading due East back to the Lou, we took a little 4 hour detour north through Flagstaff to the Grand Canyon. 

 Ever seen the movie 'Vacation'?  As we were nearing the Grand Canyon, my brother sent us this message of what he envisioned was going on in our car...

"Cyndi: Honestly, Drew, I don't think we're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.

Drew: Jesus, it's only the biggest god damn hole in the world.

Aunt Edna: Drew, watch your language!

Drew: Make that the second biggest."

Spot on, friends, spot on.  

We lugged everyone (including our 4 legged passengers) all the way out the the canyon rim to what can honestly be called one of the most breath taking sights I have ever seen.  5 minutes after our arrival to the rim, our 3 year old announced that he had to poop.  That was the end of our canyon viewing.  So much for the 4 hour drive.  At least I have the picture to prove that we made it there!

From the Grand Canyon we drove to another national park where there is a petrified forest.  Yes, trees that are now rocks.  The kids were thrilled to see another tourist attraction (read that as sarcastic). 

  

And of course they followed all the rules.

It really was a fascinating place.  Kinda looked like another planet. I, for one, am glad we stopped.

From here we headed to Albq, NM for the night and on to St. Louis the next day.  Total car time for the ride home was 34 hours.  You could say we were pretty cooked by the end, but it was worth it.  We made memories that will last a lifetime, and that's what our D-FART is all about, right?  For 3,462 miles it better be!

From This Side of Disaster,

Cyndi

SCREENED-IN PORCH TRANSFORMATION

Check out this easy way to transform your screened-in porch!

http://flirtingwithdisasteranddesign.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

From This Side of Disaster,
Rhonda